When your parents try to act cool around your friends like
wouldnt it be cool to just like not feel nervous about everything all the time
when no one in class is ready for the test
My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms 23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed
you need less jesus
I see you driving ‘round town with the girl I love and I’m like that’s cool, I guess she made her choice, and I gotta respect that. There’s probably a lot more going on in her life than I was aware of, which is actually a pretty good indication that our relationship was not in a healthy place to begin with. I wish you both the best of luck in making things work, and I hope we can all stay friends over this.
my fall look today is winged eyeliner, plum lipstick, and a look on my face like i’m fucking your boyfriend and can’t wait for you to find out.
My fall look is simple liner with bold lashes, burgundy lipstick, a gleam in my eyes that let’s men know that I’ll suck their dick, their money out of their bank accounts, and the souls right out of their bodies.
this is my favorite post on tumblr currently
I JUST PUT MY SHIRT ON AND THERE WAS A SPIDER IN IT!!!!!!!!
or did you just put a shirt on that a spider was already wearing?
thats so rude